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How to Surrender Control: Expectations Vs. Reality

According to Shirzad Chamine’s Positive Intelligence assessment, my biggest saboteur is the stickler. Yep, that’s me, the perfectionist, get-er-done, no one can do it as well as me, girl. Well, the universe had news for me this year. It was time for me to surrender control.

For me, 2019 started with hernia repair surgery.

I developed a hernia while I was pregnant and after several years, I finally decided to undergo surgery to repair it. The surgeon told me I’d be out of work for 2 weeks and in my mind, I told him he was nuts! Two weeks? What was he thinking? I have a full-time job, a child, a dog, and a household to run (with my A-MAZING hubby). People need me (insert eye-roll emoji here)! Not to mention, I’m in the yoga studio 4 times a week. I mean, I MUST get to my inner peace! Then he dropped that bomb, no yoga for 4-6 weeks. He’s not just nuts, I thought to myself, he’s out of his mind!

Then it happened, and when getting out of bed felt like I was being stabbed repeatedly, I realized he might be right. That was quite the wake-up call. The next 2 weeks were a big lesson in listening, slowing down and surrendering control.

Here are 3 ways I surrendered:

  1. I let go. I simply had no choice so I let go of my uncontrollable urge to clean the counters, sweep the floor, make the bed and keep the refrigerator organized. Making lunch for my son, throwing in laundry, stopping into the grocery store and preparing dinner were also things I needed to release control of.

  2. I let help in. I learned to allow people and meds to help me. I had been resistant to narcotic pain medication. It took me 2 days, but I gave in and am thankful I did. I also needed my husband to lift me off the couch, guide me in and out of bed and even assist me in the shower (we can talk about humility, love, and marriage another time).

  3. I stopped expecting. The final point of surrender was my need to let go of my own expectation of how long this recovery would take. In the beginning, I experienced anxiety thinking it would NEVER get better and then when I realized I was getting better, I felt like it should be happening faster. Letting go of my own expectations was probably the hardest part of all. I often visualized my body and acknowledged the work it was doing to heal itself.

The universe works in mysterious ways.

I’m not sure why it takes a big event to force us to make changes in our lives or in our mindsets. For me, letting go gave me the space to honor the work my body was doing, to appreciate my family, to be present, to stop worrying about what else needed to be done, and to stop expecting things to be a certain way. Instead, I trusted that everything is as it is supposed to be.

What strategies do you use to surrender control? Leave me a comment below and if you enjoyed this post, please share it and subscribe to our weekly newsletter.

Photo courtesy of Jane Berger


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